Uncancelled at last

Uncancelled at Last

“I think this is the last stage of cancellation.”

Cancellation feels like a deep pit of despair. Over the four years since I was accused of being racist, classist, and ableist — as interpreted by the sensitivity readers of my memoir Some Kids I Taught and What They Taught Me — I’ve journeyed through every emotion imaginable.

At first, the shame was overwhelming. I avoided going out, pressing myself against walls and slipping through streets, crushed by humiliation. Later, I began to act more normally but developed what I call Post-Traumatic Embitterment Disorder (PTED), a lingering state of bitterness that shadows every moment.

This bitterness is like a restless dog — whining, marking every corner of your life, curling up beside you when you try to relax. It lashes out at kindness yet craves it all the same. You shouldn’t feed it, but you inevitably do. Sometimes fate gives it reasons to bark. When two friends removed my name from their award-winning books’ acknowledgements, my PTED howled through the night.

This year, I decided to reclaim control. I stood up from the chair of my own self-pity and painted my study yellow. When the BBC contacted me for a podcast interview, I didn’t flinch. I’m a good case study, perhaps, for the culture wars. Soon after, I was invited to join a panel and lead a few school workshops. For the first time in years, I began to feel like myself again.

Author’s Summary

After years of isolation and resentment following public cancellation, I’ve begun to heal, regain purpose, and rediscover my sense of self and courage.

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UnHerd UnHerd — 2025-11-09

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